Sometimes it's about the challenge, the difficulty, the impossibility of it all. It's about providing for yourself an opportunity to do something nobody has ever done before. It's about being the first to say or express something and realizing that it is an immense responsibility with an awesome payoff. A roar of laughter from a crowd...the applause... the appreciation, affection and adulation, no question a very addictive process. A process that keeps you even through the nights where something goes wrong, the audience doesn't give you what you need or you were simply off your game.
Perhaps a realization has set in?... in that it's all temporary and it's all part of what you have to do. Each show you have to earn it and that is the way it is.
It is getting to the point where you can say,
'I don't just do standup'...I AM standup! ;)*
*I am reminded of my bud Jordan Brady's film "I Am Comic"! If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it!