."So this is what I know about life. First you're born, then shortly afterwards you start having to do things you don't want to do.
Then you die...and that is the last thing you have to do that you don't want to do....so why not give stand up comedy a try".
"I have a love hate thing going with comedy. Where else can you feel bad about losing jobs you never had?"
"Set goals, not attaining them helps you define your misery".
"I don't mind suffering on stage I just want to know why".
"Stand up comedy is like a jelly doughnut. It's not bad if all the really good doughnuts have already been eaten".
"Creativity is simply letting go!"
"Be fanatical, fanatics get things done and they're often fun to watch!"
"Look at it this way, disapproval means they're listening!"
"Standup is a time conscious art form. Buy a stopwatch and save yourself a LOT of grief!
"There's a special soap to use to wash off bad shows. You'll recognize it, it's the one wrapped in paper with the hotel name on it that is the size of a 'Good n' Plenty'!